So you want to increase the feminine energy in your life? Well before you begin embracing all things you think are feminine, it’s really important to understand what authentic feminine energy is.

Feminine energy is often described as being compassionate, nurturing, soft, and able to surrender and receive. But real feminine traits and energy are SO much more! In fact, the typical definitions of feminine energy that you’re likely to read around the internet are pretty one-dimensional…

Do a quick search, and here’s what you’ll likely find online to describe feminine energy and characteristics –

Traits of Feminine Energy

  • Empathetic

  • Sensitive

  • Intuitive

  • Nurturing

  • Receptive

  • Loving

  • Soft

  • Compassionate

  • Patient

For contrast, here’s a list of masculine qualities and traits you’ll typically find on the internet…


Traits of Masculine Energy

  • Assertive

  • Independent

  • Logical

  • Competitive

  • Protective

  • Linear

man and woman representing two energies balanced

Masculine and feminine energy compared…

Looking at these two lists, do they surprise you? Or are you familiar with seeing masculine and feminine energies divided up like this?

With fresh eyes, can you see how polarising the two lists of qualities and traits are?

Modern polarity teachings describe feminine and masculine energy as opposite forces that complement and depend on each other. Yet by defining the feminine as soft, surrendering, and open (and denying her any qualities of strength and force, for example), she becomes subordinate to the masculine.

This is patriarchy.

How do you empower feminine energy?

To empower feminine energy we need to question and reject the very narrow definitions of feminine and masculine energies that are so often imposed upon us.

Without questioning these traits and qualities, people are actually perpetuating harmful programs and conditioning in our world. If you’re seeking to cultivate feminine energy in your life, but you only focus on the feminine traits described under patriarchy, you are also maintaining systems designed to keep women small.

Feminine woman with pink skirt

What is Feminine Energy?

Feminine energy is:

  • Power
  • Pleasure
  • Passion
  • Sensuality
  • Sex
  • Rage
  • Anger
  • Fearsomness
  • Transformation
  • Chaos
  • Destruction
  • Death

Feminine energy is life force energy.

It’s not that the feminine isn’t loving, intuitive, soft, receptive, and kind. She has all of those “lighter” traits, and she is also a lot more.

Defining Feminine Energy

The true feminine is impossible to describe in one word or sentence because she is an entire cycle of birth and creation to death and destruction.

Feminine energy encompasses light and dark, love and fear, beauty and ugliness. She is youth and age. She is receptivity and she is force.

So real feminine energy has little to do with “femininity” as our popular culture, media, and advertising would lead you to believe. It’s not fluttering your eyelashes to seduce a man, having perfectly manicured nails, or being the one who cooperates, finding the peaceful route through a disagreement.

Real feminine power and energy could be found in your wildly unkempt hair, unwashed face, and your fierce and heartfelt “no”.

For a much deeper experience of the “deep feminine”, go and listen to the work of Oracular Poet Maya Luna.

Woman of colour in her gamine style

How to increase feminine energy

  1. Dive into deep self-reflection
  2. Look at your own conditioning around femininity
  3. Do your shadow work
  4. Connect to nature
  5. Be more creative
  6. Increase your capacity to BE with your emotions
  7. Practice embodiment
  8. Appreciate your body
  9. Embrace your menstrual cycle
  10. Slow down and rest
  11. Play
  12. Work with the dark feminine
  13. Explore your sexuality
  14. Cultivate your intuition
  15. Cultivate healthy female relationships

Maybe you’re realising now, how increasing the feminine energy in your life is more than just wearing the right clothes and cultivating receptivity?!

So let’s begin…

1. Dive into self-reflection

Self-reflection is the first step to increasing your feminine energy. We have ALL the answers we need inside, we simply need to allow ourselves the time and space to seek them out.

So turn away from distraction, and begin the journey inwards. Tend to your inner thoughts, feelings, and knowings…

2. Look at your own conditioning around femininity

Write down a list of what you think femininity is. Then ask yourself if each thing is true. If it is, why? Who told you so? Where did that belief come from?

As women, we’ve spent our entire lives receiving messages about how to be feminine, feel feminine, and look feminine. But for many of us, these messages actually go against our innate qualities and characteristics!

It’s really important to look at your beliefs around femininity, the feminine, and what it is to authentically feel feminine before blindly trying to tap into “feminine energy”. Because the feminine way of being that you’re seeking out could actually be at odds with the real you, and the real feminine within you.

Ready to start deprogramming? 

Read this post next – 50 BEST Journal Prompts for Healing Feminine Energy

3. Do your shadow work

It doesn’t matter how much “love and light” you’re seeking. Unless you’re spending time looking into your shadow, you’re not going to cultivate deep, true feminine energy.

Everyone has a shadow side – this is the unconscious mind – the place where we put all the parts of ourselves we’ve rejected.

For women, shadow traits may look like:

  • Being angry

  • Ugliness

  • Manipulation

  • Being assertive

  • Being disorganized

  • Having “negative” emotions

  • Having needs

Integrating your shadow is a powerful healing journey that is absolutely unavoidable if you want to tap into your feminine energy.

If you want to dive into your own shadow, start here: The Honeyed Shadow.

4. Connect to nature

Nature IS the home of divine feminine energy, in all her wild and authentic expressions.

Spend time with her, in her, soaking up her medicine. Don’t wait until you feel burned out before turning to the great mother.

Nature will soothe and heal your nervous system. Nature will help regulate you through your internal process and BIG deconditioning work. And she will teach you all about the true feminine.

About her rhythms, seasons, cycles, beauty, love, and power.

5. Be more creative

Creativity isn’t what you do, it’s a frequency you hold.

The feminine side of nature IS creativity

You can create more feminine energy by aligning with your own creativity. By making art, crafting, cooking, weaving, dancing… whatever makes your creative side sing. When you cultivate your own creative energy, you are aligning yourself with the Mother, the life-giving force of the Universe. This will naturally increase your own feminine energies.

6. Increase your capacity to BE with your emotions

Many women are naturally deep feelers.

But, can you hold and fully feel your emotions, without either suppressing them when they’re uncomfortable or letting them suddenly explode when too much?

Learn to connect with your emotions authentically. Increase your capacity to BE with what you’re feeling, so you can fully embrace, and process them.

Explore your emotional world through journaling… 

Read this post next – Best Shadow Work Prompts for Beginners

7. Practice embodiment and sensuality

Increase feminine energy by embracing your innate sensuality and feeling the flow of your yin energy throughout your body. The divine feminine lives in your blood, flesh, and bones. An extension of the Earth, she comes alive when you move, dance, and feel.

But most humans (both men and women) have been systematically disconnected from their bodies over centuries of living under patriarchal control. Re-awaken feminine energy in your life by inhabiting your own body more fully.

  • Take a long walk barefoot

  • Tune into your five senses

  • Join a yoga class

  • Savour delicious food

  • Inhale the scent of a rose

  • Touch your own body and get to know (and appreciate) her contours, textures, and shapes.

  • Do what you need to feel grounded in your body.

8. Appreciate your body

This patriarchal society wants you to dislike your body. This keeps you spending money on trying to improve, change, or manipulate it. But just like patriarchal femininity, the messages you receive about what a feminine body looks like are lies.

Your body is beautiful. She is divine. Cherish and love her.

sensual woman embrace overall health

9. Embrace your menstrual cycle

How do you feel about your menstrual cycle? Love it, or loathe it? (Again, your perception is likely closely tied to the conditioning you’ve received, so no judgment here).

As a woman who menstruates, every month your entire body moves through a sacred cycle of creation, growth, climax, descent, and death. Your thoughts, emotions, sensations, and body all mirror this incredible blueprint of female energy.

So instead of stifling your feelings, numbing your pain, and dreading your blood, begin to awaken to the creative force you carry within. It’s more than self care. It’s activism.

Want rituals to honour your bleeding time?

Read this post next – 13 Menstrual Rituals to Perform with Your Sacred Blood

10. Slow down and rest

Divine feminine energy cannot be rushed, yet most of us think we should be doing more, faster (am I right?!)

Slowing down is reclamation.

Resting is rebellion.

One of the best ways to cultivate and embrace your feminine energy is to slow down the pace in everyday life. It’s not about more “me time” or taking a relaxing bath once in a blue Moon. It’s about actually recalibrating, so that you stop pushing forward, feel you need to “make progress”, and find presence and balance in every moment.

11. Play!

Like pleasure, play is healing, yet SO underrated.

Try to find time to be free, uninhibited, playful, and spontaneous. Let go of structure, self-awareness, and the need to be productive.

Play will enable a balance to be found, so that “masculine” impulses are kept in check. This will get your creative juices flowing, and allow spontaneous feminine energies to emerge in unexpected, unplanned ways!

12. Work with the Dark Feminine

Cultivating only the lighter, softer traits of the feminine, and rejecting any “darker” ones is NOT only doing half the work. It’s actually creating more imbalance.

Working with the dark feminine is a necessary aspect of this path. As daunting as it may be, especially if you have preconceptions around darkness and shadow, we need to embrace all aspects of the Goddess on this journey.

Do you want to work with dark feminine energy?

Read this post next – Dark Feminine Energy Explained

13. Explore your sexuality

You can’t increase the feminine energy in your life without a deep exploration of your sexuality.

For the majority of women, this either feels expansive and exciting, or constricting and fear-inducing Because the fact is that growing up in the 21st century, we all have trauma around our sexuality.

The truth about what sex and sexual energy actually are has been radically distorted over many centuries, as the sexual balance between feminine and masculine energies has been radically upset.

So if you want to awaken feminine energy, it’s VITAL to explore your own sexuality. But doing this means peeling back the layers of conditioning that you’ve been fed since childhood.

Also read – Moon Signs in Bed: What Your Natal Moon Says About Sex

14. Cultivate your intuition

The divine feminine communicates to us through our intuition.

Intuition is that inner voice that more and more women are noticing, yet still unsure whether to trust.

Trust yourself!

Listening to your intuitive hunches and the voice of your inner self will awaken even more of this powerful force.

15. Cultivate healthy female relationships

Many women have a desperate need for healthy relationships with other like-minded women.

Yet instead of seeing other women as friends and allies, we do the polar opposite, because we’ve been conditioned to judge, criticize, gossip about, and compete with them.

Work hard to embrace the females around you! Love them, cherish them, celebrate their wins, and dedicate spare time to building healthy, generous relationships with them.

How do you know if you have strong feminine energy?

Strong feminine energy is healed feminine energy.

Do the work.

If you really want to work out how to tap into your feminine energy, and feel feminine, then it needs to be authentic.

So do the deep, soul-searching work, and the Goddess will shine and radiate out from your heart with no effort at all.

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