Wounded feminine energy can manifest in various ways, impacting your emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. It occurs when the raw, life-giving, and transformative power of feminine energy has been suppressed, shamed, or denied.
Some of the causes of wounded feminine energy come from personal circumstances, experiences, and trauma. But many of them come from society, culture, and the overarching paradigm we live in.
So if you’re a woman living in the modern Western world, I’m sorry to say… it’s highly unlikely you’ve avoided having wounded feminine energy.
What does wounded feminine energy look like?
Wounded feminine energy could look like qualities such as low self-esteem, codependency, and a fear or resistance to sensuality, for example.
***As you read through this section, really try not to feel shame, blame, or guilty feelings. Pretty much all of the time, a person’s feminine energies are hurt and distorted simply through the process of having to survive in our modern world.
12 Signs of Wounded Feminine Energy
Although we’ve all received slightly different conditioning around femininity, there are various signs that you’re carrying deep wounds of the feminine. And no, it’s not about not expressing your “feminine side”. This goes SO much deeper.
Some ways to know if your feminine energy is wounded include –
- Feeling guilty or ashamed for things that aren’t your fault
- Having low self-esteem
- Being unable to set boundaries and say no
- People pleasing
- Seeking external validation and approval
- Having a hard time connecting with your emotions and expressing them.
- Feeling disconnected from your body, a lack of somatic experience
- Having ear and/ or shame around sexuality
- Rejecting any notion of “femininity”
- Struggling to find a balance between masculine and feminine energy
- Often feeling envy or jealousy
- Having a difficult or complex relationships with other women, including your mother
Do any of these signs feel familiar to you? Then you’re not alone! And it’s likely that learning how to heal wounded feminine energy is a vital part of your journey.
Struggling to embody true femininity?
Read this post next – 25 Signs of Blocked Feminine Energy (and how to free the flow…)
Knowing the causes and reasons this energy is wounded is also super-important. Because without information about the causes of wounded feminine energy, you risk
- Staying in situations that are hurting you
- Retraumatising yourself
- Making your healing work ineffective
- Perpetuating unhealthy patterns in your life
- Contributing to systems of oppression
- Hurting and wounding other women.
Top causes of wounded feminine energy
The possible causes of wounded feminine energy are endless. Just as everyone’s experience of life varies, the way we respond to life also varies. So a deep wound picked up by one or two women from a tricky situation could be easily brushed off by others.
Yet there are common threads. So here’s a list of some of the most notable causes often associated with wounded feminine energy.
1. Lack of self-love and self-care
When a woman neglects her own needs and doesn’t prioritize her own well-being, it can lead to a feeling of emptiness and a lack of fulfillment. This can result in a disconnection from her true feminine nature and a sense of unworthiness.
2. Trauma or abuse
Experiencing trauma or abuse can cause deep wounds that can impact a woman’s sense of self and connection to her feminine energy.
It can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, and fear, which can block her ability to express herself authentically.
3. Negative self-talk and self-doubt
When a woman constantly criticizes herself and doubts her abilities, it can lead to a lack of confidence and a disconnection from her feminine power.
This can cause her to feel stuck and unable to move forward in her life.
4. Cultural conditioning and societal expectations
Society often imposes rigid gender roles and expectations on women, which can lead to a disconnection from their true selves.
This can cause women to feel like they need to conform to certain standards and behaviors, which can suppress their authentic feminine energy.
5. Difficulty setting boundaries and saying no
When a woman struggles to set healthy boundaries and say no to others, it can lead to a feeling of being taken advantage of and a loss of personal power.
This can cause her to lose control over her life, ultimately leading to a disconnection from her feminine energy.
6. Repression of emotions and feelings
When a woman suppresses her emotions and feelings, it can cause her to feel disconnected from her intuition and inner wisdom.
This can lead to a feeling of being lost and disconnected from her true self.
7. Fear of vulnerability and intimacy
When a woman is afraid to be vulnerable and open up to others, it can lead to a feeling of isolation and disconnection.
She may feel like she can’t fully express herself, and end up with a lack of meaningful connections with others.
8. Perfectionism and people-pleasing
When a woman strives for perfection and constantly tries to please others, it can lead to a disconnection from her true desires and needs.
This can lead to a loss of personal power.
9. Comparison and competition with other women
When a woman compares herself to other women and competes with them, it can lead to a feeling of inadequacy and a disconnection from her feminine energy.
This can cause her to feel like she’s not good enough and can lead to a lack of self-love and self-acceptance.
10. Lack of support and validation from others
When a woman doesn’t receive the support and validation she needs from others, it can lead to a feeling of isolation and a disconnection from her feminine energy.
This can cause her to feel like she’s not valued or appreciated, which in turn, leads to a lack of self-worth and confidence.
For this reason, women must surround themselves with people who uplift and support them, so they can feel empowered and connected to their feminine energy.
Is the wounded feminine the same as the female shadow?
Wounded feminine energy and the female shadow are related concepts, but they’re not exactly the same thing.
Wounded feminine energy refers to the emotional wounds that a woman may carry as a result of societal conditioning, personal experiences, or trauma. These wounds can block her ability to express herself authentically and connect with her feminine power.
The female shadow, on the other hand, refers to the unconscious parts of a woman’s psyche that she may repress or deny. These parts can include aspects of her personality that she deems unacceptable or undesirable, such as anger, jealousy, or selfishness.
By repressing these parts, a woman may also feel disconnected from her true self and her feminine energy.
So the two concepts are related, with wounded feminine energy referring more to emotional wounds, while the female shadow describes unconscious aspects of a woman’s psyche.
It’s important to note, however, that wounded feminine energies and traits may end up in the shadow. So you may disown parts of yourself that have been hurt, harmed, and distorted, and these may go on to become female shadow traits such as:
- Manipulation and control
- Emotional volatility
- Neediness and clinginess
- Envy and jealousy
- Self-absorption and narcissism
- Martyrdom and victimhood
- Insecurity and self-doubt
- Indecisiveness and lack of direction
- Over-sensitivity and defensiveness.
How to start working with the causes of wounded feminine energies
The wounded feminine is everywhere.
Plus, it’s virtually impossible to separate the wounded feminine from cultural “femininity” because our media and modern Western culture actually celebrate many wounded traits. For example, we’re praised when we people-please, say “yes”, and put others’ needs ahead of our own. The feminine traits of surrender and dependency are programmed into young girls, while assertiveness, chaos and sexuality are shamed.
It takes a strong sense of self to resist and rebel against these societal norms, and then protect yourself from the backlash.
So the first step in bringing back a healthy expression of the feminine is to build a strong relationship with your center and your truth.
Try not to take things personally.
Don’t feel guilty.
Set the intention for your healing, and trust that you are being shown the right direction to move in.
Here are a couple of places to start the work –
1. Unpack societal conditioning
Societal and cultural conditioning plays a significant role in shaping how your feminine energy is expressed throughout your life.
From a young age, we are all exposed to societal expectations regarding gender roles and behaviors. This conditioning leads to a huge imbalance in the feminine energy allowed to be expressed by women. Certain masculine traits are cultivated, while other feminine traits are suppressed.
You must acknowledge the role societal conditioning plays in your life and how it impacts you, as a woman. Doing this also takes off the weight – it’s not all your fault, my friend!
It’s also worth realizing that you may not feel worthy of certain states, experiences, and even lifestyles – this too, is conditioning that you need to peel away.
By recognizing these influences, you can take steps to heal your wounded feminine energy and restore balance. Some ways to start addressing societal conditioning include:
- Questioning the traditional gender roles and norms you’ve learned
- Embracing your authentic self, regardless of societal expectations
- Surrounding yourself with positive, empowering role models
Read this post next – 50 Journal Prompts for Healing Feminine Energy
2 Work to heal from your own past trauma
Past wounds and traumatic experiences can have a lasting impact on your feminine energy.
Experiences such as abuse, neglect, or emotional trauma can create an unhealthy, wounded connection with your feminine side.
These past traumas can cause you to disconnect from your true self and hinder your ability to express your femininity fully.
Healing from these experiences takes time and effort. Here are some strategies to help you address your past wounds and reclaim your feminine energy:
- Engage in self-reflection to understand the present-day impact of past events on your life
- Seek professional support from a therapist or counselor specializing in trauma
- Develop healthy coping mechanisms to manage your feelings and emotions
Remember, healing from past traumas and abuse is a process, and it’s essential to be patient and compassionate with yourself along the way.
Remember the healing process looks different for everyone. It will take time. Be patient and kind to yourself throughout.
The divine feminine energies that are just waiting to emerge through you have been suppressed, shamed, and vilified for centuries. Healing and returning them to power in the world won’t happen overnight!
But for every piece you put back into place, it gets a little easier for the other women also walking this healing path.