Last year, I went through an initiation.

Looking back with fresh eyes, I see that it was a combination of all of my personal kryptonites, rolled into a few short months.

The bureaucracy of house-buying, planning permissions, paper-pushing patriarchy, coupled by a very expensive, very stressful ticking clock. (well, I never promised fairy tales… this IS my underworld).

All this, with the heavy, daily, debilitating nausea that comes in the months of early pregnancy.

I lost a child. For a morning, which felt like forever (we found him, yet all were traumatised, deeply). The rawness of that fear spikes again sometimes.

I lost the baby.

 

Yet in those months, the Spirits held me. And through the womb-wrenching pain, and heart-hurting wrongness, I learnt to sit in the quiet with the Dark Goddess.

The ancient sacred practices of the Lyceum, the European lineage of honeybee priestesses to which I belong, kept me tethered. And they still do.

Doing the Spiritual work for close to a decade, I know how the layers just  keep on stripping back.

This initiation was not my first, and it won’t be my last.

I know how it feels, and I know how to *not* get lost in the story…

Fast Forward to today…

 

… And I live in the honeyed hills of rural Herefordshire in the South West of England, with my partner of over a decade, and three little boys who believe, as fiercely as I do, in the realness of magic. Through experience, not hope alone.

My life is a lemniscatic dance, between motherhood and autonomy, between roots and flight, between the here and now, and the beyond places. As a Sagittarius Sun, and an ancestry peppered with traveling folk, journeying between the worlds is my life blood. 

There are a thousand synchronicities that make up the pathway of each of us, and likely we’ll never really know what they were…

Yet, here are just a few of mine…

 

  • I am the offspring of a Polish Mathematician and the granddaughter of a gypsy.
  • My childhood was spent in the beautiful, rolling rurality of a tiny hamlet in Wiltshire, in the South West of the UK.
  • My dad kept bees and I spent every summer sneaking too close to the hives and emerging with bees tangled in my hair and in between my toes (ouch!)
  • I am a painter. I studied hard, and learned to paint in oils in my twenties, making vast alabaster canvases that describes mysteries I am only now coming to understand… 
  • It was an ex-vicar we had staying for a month while he ran the local pantomime, who pushed me into asking the big questions (well, I used to get into conversations with him about God and faith and religion and realised then that I needed a better way to articulate our differences…)
  • The first “spiritual” book I read was Bringers of the Dawn, by Barbara Marciniak (I am aaaall about disclosure, baby!)
  • The first spiritual training I took, was with an an apprentice of Drunvalo Melchizedek, in the Abbey House in Glastonbury, on my 31st birthday. 
  • My first blog, The Moon School was catalysed by a diagnosis of Postnatal Depression. The doctors gave me medication, but I was thoroughly suspicious and knew it wasn’t the answer. So began a personal exploration into the cycles of woman, nature, and the Moon. This is when I began to write and to share. The blog quickly became popular, and taught me a lot about consistency, personal boundaries, and the art of exchange. 
  • The Lyceum found me. (I think that’s how it is with us all…) It is everything I knew was true as a little girl: The consciousness of nature. The bees. The utter magic. And the Spirits…

Keep on Reading…

Aries New Moon: 5 Ways to Ignite

Aries New Moon: 5 Ways to Ignite

Heads UP! The New Moon in Aries will rise on March 24th, 2020. Every year Ostara (or Spring Equinox) is marked when the Sun swings into the first sign, Aries. And shortly after, the Moon, our sacred luminary Goddess of the skies moves in closer to join him, ready for...