Wounded feminine energy is a term referring to the emotional and psychological scars that people have caused by distortions of their feminine energy. These distortions come from cultural and societal expectations of what “femininity” is. They can also come from their own personal trauma, though this tends also to be rooted in cultural conditioning.
These wounds can manifest in a whole spectrum of different ways, including disconnection and dissociation from your body, low self-worth, and relationship problems (we’ll go into those in depth later…)
It’s important to note that wounded feminine energy is not limited to women and can affect people of all genders.
Understanding Wounded Feminine Energy
To understand what wounded feminine energy is, let’s first take a look at what a healthy expression of feminine energy is.
What is feminine energy?
Most people describe the feminine with words like nurturing, kindness, softness, and receptivity. But I believe this sacred and eternal energy is really so much more than this – the feminine is also:
- Decay and death
You can dive in much deeper here: What is Feminine Energy? Plus 20 Ways to Step into your Feminine Power
What Causes Wounded Feminine Energy?
Wounded feminine energy is what’s expressed when the raw, life-giving, erotic, transformative energy of the feminine has been suppressed, shamed, or denied. This can happen on an individual scale, but it’s prevalent on a much larger scale too. Here in the West, the true essence of the feminine has been systematically suppressed over many generations.
Because of the resulting wounds, only distortions of feminine energy are able to emerge. Again, these distortions show up on a personal level, manifesting in the lives of individuals. But they also show up collectively. This is the female shadow.
These wounds may manifest in low self-esteem, difficulties setting boundaries, and in shame around sex and eroticism. And in the systemic repression of women, everyday sexism and rape culture.
The wounded feminine is everywhere. And it’s nearly impossible to separate the wounded feminine from cultural “femininity” because our media and modern Western culture actually celebrate many of these wounded traits. For example: being busy all the time, being highly independent, and of course, appearing eternally youthful (hello anti-wrinkle cream advert!)
20 Signs of Wounded Feminine Energy
Although we’ve all received slightly different conditioning around femininity, there are various signs that you’re carrying deep wounds of the feminine. And no, it’s not about not expressing your “feminine side”. This goes SO much deeper.
Feel guilty or ashamed for things that aren’t your fault
Take things personally and feeling hurt easily
Have low self-esteem
Don’t feel worthy of love and struggle to receive it
Unable to set boundaries and say no
Always people pleasing
Seek external validation and approval
Have a hard time connecting with your emotions and expressing them.
Have little capacity to actually hold your feelings and emotions, often letting them overflow or explode
Feel disconnected from your body, a lack of somatic experience
Lack of sensory pleasure
Fear and/ or shame around sexuality
Reject any notion of “femininity”
Struggle to find a balance between masculine and feminine energies
Unable to trust your intuition or make decisions from a place of inner knowing
Lack of meaning and purpose in life
Have a strong sense that something is missing and you’re not sure what it is
Often feel envy or jealousy
Difficult or complex relationships with other women
Difficult or complex relationship with your mother
More essential reading: Healing the Mother Wound
Do any of these signs strike a chord? Then you’re not alone! Much like shadow work, the first step in healing is to acknowledge and accept these wounds and the impact they have had on your life. The wounded feminine is REAL, and there’s no need to feel shame around holding this patterning.
You may also like: 25 Signs of Blocked Feminine Energy
How to Heal Wounded Feminine Energy
So you’ve identified wounded feminine energy in your life. First off, BE with it. It’s okay. Hope yourself in a compassionate embrace. Healing is not only possible for you, you were born to do it!
Know that it’s imperative for the human collective that you begin the healing process FOR the feminine. For the women who came before you, the women here with you, and the women who will come after you. The Goddess has called you forth, so it’s time.
Any work with the feminine is process based – there’s little point in aiming for the endpoint! Ultimately, you will heal the wounded feminine by dropping deeply into the present moment and being with what IS in each unfolding moment.
Here are 10 ways you can begin to unravel the conditioning that has wounded the feminine so deeply and allow the re-emergence of real feminine power
Connect with nature
Healing feminine energy can be as simple as spending time in nature. Whether it’s a park, forest, or beach, make time to connect deeply with Mother Nature.
This is especially important if you feel over-run with masculine energy (to function in our culture, this does tend to dominate).
The Great Mother is exceedingly good at recalibrating and returning balance to the masculine and feminine within.
Next try this: How to Embody the Wild Woman Archetype
Every healing journey needs plenty of self-care.
If you’re suffering from exhaustion (always feeling tired?) this is a tell tale sign that your natural feminine traits are being shunned in favor of more masculine energy.
You MUST take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Get enough rest, eat healthy, and engage in activities that bring you joy.
Let go of past hurts and grudges, and practice forgiveness towards yourself and others. This isn’t about pretending that abuses of the past didn’t happen. Forgiveness is for YOU. It will release you from the bonds of anger and resentment that keep you and your feminine energy trapped.
Embrace your emotions
Allow yourself to feel and express your feelings and emotions without judgment or shame. Increasing your capacity to hold the full spectrum of your emotions will also mean that you are less likely to collapse or explode when things get tough.
Explore your creativity
One of the primary functions of feminine energy is to create! Engage in creative activities that allow you to express yourself and find your own authentic voice. Create art for the sake of making art – use paint, use your body, use anything you can find! Feminine energy needs to move, so give it somewhere to go!
Practice embodiment and embrace your sensuality
Feminine energy exists in the body! You can’t heal the wounded feminine, without getting fully embodied.
Cultivate present-moment awareness of your sensory experience. Come into contact with how you are interacting with each moment as it arises. Do this complete non-judgmental acceptance of yourself.
You may like: 15 Ways to Embody the Lover Archetype
Explore divine feminine energy
Connect with the Goddess. You could use practices like meditation, prayer, or yoga. Be open to receiving Her guidance in whatever form it comes.
Also read: What is the Divine Feminine? (and 13 ways to awaken her energy)
Learn to set boundaries
Learn to say no to things that don’t align with your values or priorities, and set healthy boundaries with others. Okay – that was So much easier to write than it is to do. So take it slowly at first, set a little boundary and work hard not to feel guilty for it. Then hold the line if and when you get pushback. It’s okay.
Work to decondition the patriarchal programming
It runs deep. Much of the repression we’ve been subjected to has been internalized – we don’t even realize how much we silence and squash ourselves into tiny boxes of what’s allowed. Question everything about that you think you believe.
Do your shadow work
The collective female shadow will rise into the light of our awareness, only when every woman (and man) is willing to look at their own shadow. Until we look within, the same patterns of suppression will keep on repeating. Start your shadow work journey here.
Remember that healing the wounded feminine is a long and crooked journey. It will take time. Be patient and kind to yourself throughout.
These sacred energies that you are learning to express have been suppressed, shamed, and vilified for centuries. Healing and returning them to power in the world won’t happen overnight!
But for every piece you put back into place, it gets a little easier for the other women also walking this healing path.
Want to find out more? Click here to read – How to Heal Wounded Feminine Energy and RISE UP Stronger!