Feminine energy is often associated with traits such as softness, compassion, and intuition. But feminine energies encompass SO much more than just these kinds of receptive, nurturing, and cooperative qualities!
Feminine energy is a powerful force that moves through all aspects of our world, and can be harnessed by both women and men. It is an essence, a life orientation that can bring greater depth, meaning, and truth. But not if it’s misunderstood, or only partly explored.
… Because feminine energy is SO much more than what you wear and how you behave in the company of a man! A lot of teachings I see out there on the feminine tend to focus on these pretty polarising and shallow masks of the feminine.
So let’s dive a little deeper. And begin to unpack the truth about the feminine side of humanity, nature, energy, and consciousness…
What is feminine energy?
Feminine energy usually refers to the qualities and traits traditionally associated with femininity, such as kindness, empathy, intuition, and creativity. Yet feminine energy also encompasses passion, sexuality, rage, chaos, darkness, shadow, and SO much more.
It’s often seen as a contrast to masculine energy, which is associated with strength, assertiveness, and logic. Yet this polarising perspective isn’t always accurate, and many women find this restrictive, and not at all accurate when it comes to describing their experience of the feminine, which is more likely to be cyclical, flowing, messy, and mysterious.
Everything is born from the feminine. Feminine energy is life force energy, and this can’t be contained, or easily defined.
Feminine energy is light and dark, love and fear, beauty and ugliness.
The feminine is innocence and maturity. She is youth and age. She is receptivity and she is force.
Oracular Poet Maya Luna describes the divine feminine as immanence. She exists in the moment, in every ebb and every flow, in every breath in, and very deep exhale.
And she is every dripping, oozing, messy piece of presence and truth in between: She is the Great Mother.
So true feminine energy has little to do with “femininity” as our popular culture, media, and advertising would lead you to believe.
YET the messaging that most women have received our whole lives is that the feminine is the “good girl. She is well-behaved, sitting pretty and doing as you’re told. She lets men make decisions, while SHE looks (in equal parts) motherly and seductive when it suits.
We’ve been told feminine energy is sensitive, nurturing, receptive, soft, loving and patient.
But that’s not entirely true…
Real, authentic feminine energy is also sensual, pleasure-full, passionate, devoted, magical and mysterious, angry, fearsome, transformational, chaotic, and destructive.
Real feminine energy is the presence of the Goddess.
Definitions of feminine energy
Because feminine energy refers to an entire spectrum of qualities and traits, from the light to the dark, the life-giving to the destructive, the soft to the fierce, it can be defined differently depending on WHO it’s moving through.
In general, feminine energy can be defined as encompassing a wild, intuitive, and interconnected approach to life, and can be seen as a contrast to the more assertive and analytical qualities associated with masculine energy.
Here’s a list of some feminine energy traits and qualities:
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Sensitivity
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Sensuality
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Pleasure
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Passion
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Devotion
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Intuition
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Receptivity
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Creativity
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Collaboration
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Love
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Softness
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Nurturing
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Fluidity
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Compassion
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Healing
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Magic
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Transformation
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The mystery
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Chaos
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Wildness
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Anger
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Fearsomness
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Decay and death
Examples of feminine energy
Examples of feminine energy may include the loving way a mother cares for her child, and also the primal roar she makes when giving birth. The feminine exists in a tangle of dark, overgrown forest and in the rhythm of the tides that roll in and out every day.
The compost heap at the bottom of your garden is another example of powerful feminine energy, as rich, fertile soil emerges from decaying life. The feminine can be found in the intuitive hunch that pushes you in the right direction when logic sends you the opposite way. And feminine energy moves through the vulnerability of asking for help, expressing your own needs and leaning on someone who has greater capacity in the moment, than you.
The feminine is not about gender, and it’s more than a spiritual concept – examples can be found throughout life, the human experience, and our natural world. Feminine qualities play a significant role in shaping relationships, personal growth, and societal harmony, yet all too often only some are embraced, whilst others are still suppressed and denied.
Also read: Top 10 Causes of Wounded Feminine Energy
What does feminine energy feel like?
True feminine energy feels like life but is experienced very differently from what our current dominant paradigm allows. It’s a state of presence. A truth you can touch, but only when you’re in intimate contact with the present moment.
It’s an embodied state, a meeting of spirit and matter. It’s almost indefinable. Fleeting, just this side of intangible, something born out of connection.
So feminine energy isn’t a term used to describe gender identity. It exists out there in the world, in the moment. And y,es, a man may also embody and experience the power of feminine energy.
Yet there’s something about the physicality of women, with our cyclic natures and our connection to the Earth, our blood, and our bodies, that gives the female of the species the edge when it comes to embodying this kind of real feminine power.
What does it mean to be in your feminine energy?
Being in your feminine energy involves embracing and embodying the full spectrum of who you are as a woman.
This can mean leaning into qualities traditionally associated with femininity, such as nurturing, empathy, intuition, and creativity. Yet it also means exploring your conditioning around these qualities, to figure out whether the feminine energy you express is authentic, or not.
Whether you’re acting in ways you think you should act, to be accepted as “feminine”.
I urge you to question all the content out there online, that says being in your feminine requires you to fit yourself into a box. Cultivating gentleness, vulnerability, kindness, and grace is a lovely and admirable endeavor.. but is it really what feminine energy is?
To fully embrace your inner feminine is SO much more than that.
13 Ways to know you’re in feminine energy
How do you know if you are embracing feminine energy that’s authentic and Goddess-given, and not a distorted, patriarchal, half-truth? Most of us have grown up steeped in SUCH a lot of conditioning around what femininity is, that it’s almost impossible to separate fact from fiction.
It’s brave work to cultivate the kind of self-awareness required, to gain a clearer understanding of what authentic femininity is, vs the manufactured femininity most of us are instead accepting as real.
To tap into your feminine side authentically, to peel back the layers of lies and limitations and figure out what’s left underneath – is that the feminine, finally?
Read this post next: 50 Best Journal Prompts for Healing Feminine Energy
If you’re a woman who’s serious about doing this work, you are about to embark on a personal journey that is also collective. Because every time you strip away a false belief around the feminine, you make it a little easier for the next woman to also let go of those ideas, too.
Here are 10 ways to know you’re in your feminine energy …
1. You prioritize caring for YOURSELF
It is generally accepted that being in your feminine looks like being kind caring, compassionate, generous, loving, and giving.
But so often, these qualities are people-pleasing, masquerading as the feminine.
Many women have been conditioned to prioritize caring for others, at the expense of their own needs. In fact, some women don’t even know what their own needs are! Yet part of being a healthy human being is caring for yourself first, knowing that you can’t give from an empty cup – there’s nothing to “flow” if you are in a state of constant depletion.
In our modern world, prioritizing yourself in daily life can be a difficult thing to do – it requires you to go against the grain of what we are taught about femininity, which is to offer yourself freely to others.
Yet by setting (and keeping) good boundaries, you’ll find it much easier to live a harmonious life.
2. You know when to say no
Being able to say no is a profound example of being in your feminine energy as it reflects the strength and self-respect needed to fully tap into your feminine.
By setting boundaries and asserting your needs, you’re not only looking after your emotional well-being but also maintaining a taking-no-shit mentality.
3. You can trust your intuition and emotional intelligence for decision-making
Making decisions based on rational thought and logic tends to be favored by those with dominant masculine energy. And there’s nothing wrong with that!
But as a society, we need to find balance.
Intuition is that sixth sense, that inner voice that whispers the truth that you need to hear. But it’s another thing most people have forgotten about, as the connection to our deeper selves has been all but destroyed.
Re-awakening your intuition gives you BACK that direct line to the feminine side of the sacred.
4. You live in an embodied way
Divine feminine energy lives in the body. But most humans have been systematically disconnected from their bodies over centuries of living under patriarchal control. We’ve been taught that our bodies can’t be trusted, and the mind rules.
Yet embodiment and sensuality are domains of the divine feminine – so if deeply in you’re in touch with your body, in a self-honoring way, you’re more likely to be in your feminine.
Getting more embodied is not the same as attending a yoga class! It’s more like noticing feelings of sensation and listening to what they’re telling you. Here are some simple ideas to focus on sensation, and create a connection with your body –
- Walk barefoot outside
- Tune into your five senses
- Spend time eating, and really savor your food
- Touch your own body and get to know (and appreciate) her contours, textures, and shapes.
5. You embrace your cyclical nature
Women who are in touch with the beauty of their cyclic nature tend to be living in their feminine energy.
Connecting to your menstrual cycle and tracking the monthly changes in your body, energy, emotions, and creativity is a beautiful way to understand this. As a menstruating woman, we have this powerful tool within our bodies, a mirror of the divine feminine energies of growth, climax, descent, and death embodied by the Moon.
For those who don’t have a menstrual cycle, tracking the lunar cycles is another great way to explore the cyclic nature of feminine energies. Note down any changes you feel, in your emotions, creative energy, or physicality.
For more guidance and creative ideas on how to track the Moon, and work with lunar energies, download the e-book: How to Get Started with Sacred Cycles
6. You’re not in competition with other women
A woman who isn’t in competition with other women seems to radiate feminine energy! She cultivates meaningful connections, by inviting collaboration, and modeling interconnectedness.
She knows that there is MORE than enough for everyone, so she fosters a supportive and inclusive environment for all.
This woman knows that space between sisters is sacred space, so she works hard to cultivate healthy relationships with her sisters on a day-to-day basis.
On the flip side, women who compete with other women are operating from the wounded feminine. When relationships with sisters are seen as a threat, there’s unresolved pain and trauma that needs exploring, before healthy, empowered feminine energies can be expressed.
7. You’re not afraid of change
A woman is fully in her feminine energy when she is not afraid of change.
Being deeply connected with the ever-changing rhythms of nature, she has cultivated a deep sense of adaptability and resilience. This allows her to embrace change with grace and fluidity, and focus on the process of living, whilst honoring the relationships of interconnectedness between all things.
Through this, she embodies the strength and receptivity inherent in feminine energy, yet her approach is fearless and exemplifies power and vitality.
8. You embrace all emotions (including the ugly ones)
You can tell a woman is in her feminine energy when she has the capacity to embrace all of her emotions. This doesn’t mean her inner landscape is always balanced, yet she allows flow and acceptance and can experience the whole spectrum of feelings, from great joy to despair, and rage.
This deep and authentic connection with her inner thoughts and feelings, allows her to express herself authentically and make progress in her personal growth journey.
Ultimately, if you can learn to embrace all that you feel, you’re expressing the multifaceted tapestry of human experience.
9.You take your time
The pace of our modern world is SO unrelenting, isn’t it?
The relentless pushing forward is a tool that keeps us from really being in the present. But feminine energy can’t be rushed, so when you’re in your feminine it’s safe to slow down. In fact, it’s necessary. With more women than ever before experiencing stress and burnout, slowing down is a vital part of this work.
10. You own your sexuality
What IS sexual energy? It’s almost certainly not what you were taught at school! Sexual energy is:
- Life force
- Creativity
- Eros
- It moves through everybody, and everyone has the right to express it too.
But sex and what sexual energy actually is has been radically distorted over the centuries, and today most people see sex through a very strange lens that’s clouded in shame, suppression, embarrassment, and taboo; and at the other end of the scale, pornography, abuse and worse.
It’s a mess. It’s so far from the creative, erotic, sensual impulse that sex is really all about.
Embracing the fullness of your sexuality, whatever it looks like, is a sign of being in touch with your feminine energy. And this means doing it for YOU, and not for anybody else.
11. You have integrated your shadow
Everyone has a shadow side – a part of our unconscious mind, where we put all the parts of ourselves we have rejected. This usually happens unconsciously, and we all do it, so there’s nothing strange or wrong with having a shadow side.
Because of the conditioning that pretty much all of us have received around the acceptable expressions of masculine and feminine energies the “unacceptable” parts are what’s in the shadow. For women, these traits may look like:
- Anger
- Ugliness
- Manipulation
- Assertiveness
- Being disorganized
- Having needs
- … and many, many more personality traits and qualities
BUT when a person does their shadow work and goes through an internal process of integration to recognize and accept those parts, they instead express power, strength, and intelligence.
The woman who does her shadow work, and integrates what she finds there is the woman in touch with her authentic feminine energies.
12. You’re not wasting time “balancing feminine and masculine energies”
OK. There’s a LOT out there about feminine and masculine energies, and how they need to balance. I’ve read articles saying if you embody too much masculine energy then your inner feminine will suffer. That if you express masculine traits, or you’re a woman operating in a masculine mode, no man will find you attractive.
But what does any of this mean? DO these two energies need harmonizing?
Ugh.
This is a conversation of patriarchy.
Trying to figure out whether your “masculine and feminine energies” need balancing is simply creating MORE of a division inside you.
So please take the pressure off trying to balance anything, and instead work on healing for the sake of wholeness.
13 You know that life is sacred
When you know that all of life is sacred, you’re moving into your feminine. Not only does this outlook need you to be in a state of deep compassion and reverence for the world around you, but you’re in contact with the Goddess – the divine feminine face of nature, always in balance, always emerging.
The journey to activate and embody the frequency of the divine feminine is a LONG one. But simply beginning here, with me, means you’re making progress! And the more you work to decondition limiting patterns, and free yourself from assumptions, the faster your own feminine energies will rise.
