You can embrace the flow of feminine energy running through your veins in many different ways! But first, it’s important to understand what real feminine energy is, and what’s actually your conditioning, masquerading as “the feminine”.
Maybe you’ve already come across lists and articles about the qualities of feminine energy – that it’s soft, loving, nurturing, gentle, and receptive? This is the kind of information usually offered to women interested in cultivating their more feminine side. Especially in polarity teachings – that masculine and feminine energy are opposites, and need to be kept in balance.
Well, that’s not quite how I see it. I actually believe a lot of modern teachings on the feminine and divine feminine, are spreading some distorted version of patriarchal femininity. It’s restrictive and harmful and ultimately results in keeping women and their goddess-given life force energy trapped in a box of suppression. Same old story, same old paradigm of repression and control…
Curious? Read more about my take on feminine energy HERE
Balancing masculine and feminine energy?
Many people will say that the problem we have on planet Earth is an imbalance between masculine and feminine energies. And yeah, there’s a total, huge imbalance! But I see the problem going SO much deeper than disharmony between these polar opposite energies.
Our understanding of what feminine power actually is, is massively distorted.
ALSO READ: 25 Signs of Blocked Feminine Energy
The answer to the world’s woes isn’t going to be resolved by women becoming gentler, softer, more loving, more receptive, and more agreeable. Holy fuck. We need the opposite!
Women need to embody a power that is fierce, fearsome, fearless, transformational, chaotic, and freaking magical. We need to summon the creative force of the elements and burn these patriarchal systems to the ground.
We need to stand together and hold the line of defense around our children as if our lives depend on it (they do). We need to realize the cataclysmic power in our rage and learn how to channel it for the greater good.
What does it mean to get into your feminine energy?
Getting into your feminine energy means tapping into the full spectrum of your power, rage, emotions, and creativity. It’s about embracing all of who you are as a woman, from compassion and kindness to the claws-out “no!” when your instincts tell you that your boundaries have been overstepped.
The energy of the feminine isn’t all compliant, good girl, “three bags full”. The Goddess is the creatrix AND the destroyer – and she moves through you when you’re tapping into your own deep well of authentic feminine energy.
Our beautiful, angry, swirling, pulsing planet Earth does not need softness and surrender from her children. No more.
The unhealthy manifestations of masculine energy have taught us that the harder you work, the better the results. Maybe you’ve also been conditioned – like so many of us – for speed. So if you don’t see things changing fast enough, you either lose interest or assume you’ve failed.
Well, working with feminine energy is not like this! The path is crooked and has its own timeline. Divine feminine energy will not be hurried. Yet if it wants to pick you up and carry you forward at lightning speed, it will.
It’s personal and cosmic. The keys to this journey, are trust and devotion.
So with that understanding, here are some new ideas on how to activate and cultivate feminine energy.
20 Ways to tap into your feminine energy
1. Get more embodied
You can tap into your feminine energy by coming into closer connection with your body. Practice rooting more deeply into your body – and gradually you’ll developing a more embodied way of being.
But embodiment isn’t exercise or a yoga class. It’s not “hard work”. it’s simply getting back in touch with sensation. Here’s how –
- Slow down your breathing
- Walk barefoot outside (and feel the ground beneath your feet)
- Tune into your five senses and receive the information from them.
- Track the sensations in your body – any aches, pain, stiffness, or pleasure.
- Touch your body. Stroking your skin, playing with pressure, self-hugs.
2. Embrace your sensuality
Closely connected to embodiment, tapping into your feminine energy also looks like cultivating sensuality. Sensuality is the pleasure that can be found in sensation.
Learning to come into contact with what you are physically feeling will bring you so much more feminine energy than just staying in your head.
It’s SO simple, yet many of us are flying through life without ever stopping to “smell the roses”. We’re in desperate need of the pleasure that comes from slowing down to sense and feel our bodies, as they interact with our world.
3. BE with your body without judgment
Tapping into the feminine requires you to let go of judgment. Sometimes with embodiment practices, comes self criticism and judgment. This may rise in response to the way you look, to any discomfort or even numbness you uncover, or frustration with not being able to tune into your senses at all.
Try to simply BE with what is, in full acceptance.
4. LOVE your body
Phase 2…!
Maybe loving your body is too much, to begin with? Coming to an understanding of the conditioning you’ve received to reject your body may help to unwind those patterns.
Watch this short video – Be a Lady, they Said. It will give you a clear picture of how female energy is so radically controlled, that however you are in your own skin, it’s the wrong way to be.
Whatever you look like, patriarchy will tell you you’re either not enough or too much. So it’s time to begin self-sourcing your love and acceptance.
5. Examine your conditioning around what femininity really is
Tapping into feminine energy means tapping OUT of the conditioning you’ve picked up throughout the rest of your life!
Our conditioning around femininity comes from culture, religion, the media, our schools, our family, our friends… And it tells us that our feminine energy must manifest in a certain way. If it doesn’t? Then you’re somewhat less of a person, i.e. you’ve failed at being a woman.
Begin to strip back the thoughts and beliefs you carry around feminine energy, how you feel feminine, and what even are feminine traits.
Spend time really diving deep – as yourself (or perhaps grab a pen and do some journaling)
- What is feminine?
- Why do you think that?
- Where did that belief come from?
- What’s your evidence that it’s true?
- Could the opposite (also) be true?
6. Start to dismantle your internal systems of oppression
Oppression is something we do to each other, and it’s something we do to ourselves. Internal systems of oppression are the result of centuries of false beliefs repeated over and over again until they become the systems and structures that trap us.
And we perpetuate those systems by feeding them, through our reliance on them.
It’s the work of everyone on the planet, but especially white men and women, as so much of the internalized oppression in these groups is unconscious, which makes it even more damaging.
The divine feminine sits at the intersection of countless vital issues in today’s world, from racism to sexism to climate change to ecocide. External balance will be achieved when we can each find balance in our internal landscapes.
7. Do your shadow work
To tap into your feminine energy, it’s absolutely necessary to do your shadow work. The shadow is the part of your unconscious mind, where you place all the parts of yourself that you’ve had to reject. This rejection usually happens completely unconsciously, because it’s a survival mechanism. Without suppressing certain ‘undesirable’ aspects of ourselves, we risk not getting our needs met in childhood.
But it goes further back than childhood. As women – over many generations – we’ve suppressed a lot of our strongest inner feminine qualities, as these were exactly what put us at the greatest risk. So we plunged these into the shadow.
Qualities such as –
- Anger and rage
- Magic and mastery
- Our voices
- Assertiveness
- Control
- Intuition, insight, and prophesy
CURIOUS? READ: What is Shadow Work?
Exploring your shadow to uncover and reclaim what you find there is a powerful healing journey. Doing this will return far, far more than feminine energy alone! You’ll be able to reclaim so many lost fragments of yourself, and return to a state of wholeness.
8. Embrace the full capacity of your feelings
A lot of people will probably tell you that feminine energy is emotional energy.
So to be more “feminine” you must tap into your feelings, and learn how to express them. And YES! That’s totally true. But it’s also really important not to fall into the trap of censoring certain feelings if they aren’t “feminine”.
If you’re serious about cultivating a relationship with the feminine, can you also embrace your –
- Anger
- Bitterness
- Impatience
- Resentment
- Gloom
- Wretchedness
- Embarrassment
- Guilt
** Don’t think you have to ‘go there’ straight away with all the emotions. You can lose touch completely if you do in too hard, too fast. So go really slowly, and titrate the trickier emotions.
9. Create a relationship with your rage
For many women, anger, and rage are BIG no-nos. Maybe rage is perceived as overly masculine? Toxic? Potentially violent?
Well, rage is another thing that’s been distorted and pushed into the shadow. If you’re serious about tapping into authentic feminine energy, you must look at the relationship you have with rage and anger. It is a powerful, passionate force FULL of potential, much like sexual energy is. For more on cultivating a relationship with your sacred rage, look up the work of Maya Luna.
10. Explore your sexuality
Sexual energy is –
- Life force
- Creativity
- Eros
- It moves through everybody, and everyone has the right to express it too.
But sex and what sexual energy actually is has been radically distorted over the centuries, and today most people see sex through a very strange lens that’s clouded in shame, suppression, embarrassment, and taboo; and at the other end of the scale, pornography, abuse and much, much worse.
It’s so far from the creative, erotic, sensual impulse that sex is really all about.
You can begin to awaken the divine feminine by spending time exploring your own sexuality. But doing this really requires peeling back the layers of conditioning that we have all been fed since childhood. AND resisting the societal stereotypes and assumptions that are still rampant.
11. Start working with the dark feminine
Feminine energy isn’t all “love and light”.
The dark feminine is another facet of divine feminine energy, with its own particular flavor and qualities. (And no, the dark feminine is not the same as the feminine shadow.
Wondering what the difference is? Check out all you need to know about dark feminine energy here.
12. Embrace your menstrual cycle
One of the simplest ways to tap into the raw power of feminine energy is by connecting to your menstrual cycle. As a menstruating woman, each month your entire body moves through a sacred cycle of growth, climax, descent, and death. Your emotions, sensations, and bodily functions mirror this incredible blueprint.
So instead of stifling your feelings, numbing your pain, and dreading your blood, awaken to the creative force you carry within!
ALSO READ: What’s your Moon-Menstrual Connection?
13. Track the Moon and her cycles
Another way to embrace cyclic living (great if you don’t have a menstrual cycle) is to track the Moon. Use a calendar or an app to track the Moon phases and signs. Note down any changes you feel, in your emotions, creative energy or physicality.
For more guidance on not just how to track the Moon, but what to actually DO with each phase and the energies it brings, download the e-book: How to Get Started with Sacred Cycles
You can integrate the power of the Moon further by holding a Moon ritual. Or to really harness the power of the New or Full Moon, gather together with other like-minded women and hold a gratitude, or intention-setting ceremony.
14. Honour the Dark Moon
A great way to tap into feminine energy is to start working with the dark phase. Much like dark feminine energy, the dark Moon phase has been all but forgotten about. YET it’s a hugely necessary aspect of our entire lunar cycle (and our cyclical nature, as women).
Curious? Read more here: Meaning and Mystery of the Dark Moon Phase
15. Connect to Nature
Nature is the dwelling place of divine feminine energy.
The more you commit your time and energy to Mother Nature, the more she will share her medicine with you. Nature IS sacred space. Her rhythms, seasons, patterns and cycles are the container you need to heal, transform and thrive.
16 Experience wild weather
The real force of divine feminine energy manifests through our wildest weather. Through the thunder, torrential rainstorms and destructive winds. You can get an embodied, experiential insight into her potential power by going outside and feeling her on your skin, at these times. Be safe, but do try it.
17. Slow down
The pace of our modern world is SO unrelenting, isn’t it?
The relentless pushing forward is a tool that keeps us from really being in the present. But feminine energy can’t be rushed. And it can’t be stopped. It exists in the here and now, which is really the infinite moment of existence.
18. Practice self-care
In all spiritual practices (and yes, activating the energy of the feminine is spiritual work!) taking care of yourself is essential.
Make time for yourself each day. Take a bubble bath, read a book, or do find your own way of making sure you feel good. Always try to treat yourself with kindness compassion, and self-love.
19. Awaken your intuition
Intuition is your sixth sense, it’s that inner voice that whispers the truth. But for most women, intuition is another thing that’s been silenced and instead, we’ve learned to make decisions based on rational thought and logic. It’s not so much the inner masculine at play here, as a rejection of the divine feminine energy that just doesn’t speak up as loudly..
Re-awakening your intuition will give you BACK that direct line to the feminine side of the sacred.
20. Embrace your creativity
Divine feminine energy is inherently creative.
By unleashing your creative side and tuning into this powerful natural force, you’re bringing feminine energy into being. It’s a frequency. An essence. A state of being.
Explore what creativity feels like for you. Maybe it’s painting, dancing or some kind of craft. Or maybe you love arranging fresh flowers or being experimental with your hairstyles?!
Whatever you do, make it yours – and trying out a new Instagram filter does NOT count.
21. Create ritual
Ritual is an antidote to the capitalist model.
Rituals are a way to connect back to the Earth, to ourselves and to the sacredness of life itself.
Gentle daily rituals will awaken and activate the sacred feminine because they are HER technology. They are HER methods. So with ritual, you’ll not only reawaken her but integrate her too.
Start with a simple morning ritual, like lighting a candle in honor of the Goddess, or speaking out an affirmation as you watch the sunrise.
22. Speak up
Women have been silenced for centuries.
This goes back to the burning times (and beyond) when women were called out as witches. We learned then, it was safer not to speak. The pain and repercussions of this are still alive today, as the witch wound travels down the ancestral lines affecting modern women’s ability to simply use their voices.
Spend time exploring this. Gradually work on asserting yourself.
23. Nurture the relationships in your life
The feminine is relational.
Feminine energy manifests through how we relate to others – how two energies come together creating a third thing.
But despite our deep desire for connection, most modern folks aren’t taught how to relate in intelligent or healthy ways. Instead, we tend to pick up the “how to-s” of relationships unconsciously, though what’s modeled to us by family, TV, and celebrities (often not the best examples!)
Consider spending time learning how to relate in more healthy and constructive ways.
24. Cultivate community and sisterhood
Instead of seeing other women as allies, how often do you judge, criticize, gossip about them, and/ or see them as your competition?!
(This is an example of the internalized oppression described above). It’s a manifestation of the sisterhood wound, another way that women have been conditioned to split themselves off and actually disempower each other.
Don’t do this. Instead build healthy, generous relationships with like-minded women.
25. LOVE who you are
The divine feminine has been suppressed, rejected, distorted, and shamed for centuries. One of the most powerful ways to counter this is to work hard at loving and accepting yourself!
Honor your needs, and give yourself time for your internal process to unfold.
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