So you want to increase the feminine energy in your life? Well before you begin embracing all things you think are feminine, it’s really important to understand what authentic feminine energy is.
Feminine energy is often described as being compassionate, nurturing, soft, and able to surrender and receive. But real feminine traits and energy are SO much more! In fact, the typical definitions of feminine energy that you’re likely to read around the internet are pretty one-dimensional…
Do a quick search, and here’s what you’ll likely find online to describe feminine energy and characteristics –
Traits of Feminine Energy
For contrast, here’s a list of masculine qualities and traits you’ll typically find on the internet…
Traits of Masculine Energy
Masculine and feminine energy compared…
Looking at these two lists, do they surprise you? Or are you familiar with seeing masculine and feminine traits divided up like this?
With fresh eyes, can you see how polarising the two lists of qualities and traits are?
Modern polarity teachings describe feminine and masculine energy as opposite forces that complement and depend on each other. Yet by defining the feminine as soft, surrendering, and open (and denying her any qualities of strength and force, for example), she becomes subordinate to the masculine.
This is patriarchy.
The problem with increasing feminine energy…
By adopting these very narrow definitions of feminine and masculine energies without questioning them, people are actually perpetuating harmful programs and conditioning.
So if you’re seeking to increase the feminine energy in your life, but ONLY focusing on the feminine traits described under patriarchy, you are also maintaining systems designed to keep women small.
You should also read…
Understanding Feminine Energy
Feminine energy is life force energy.
It’s not that the feminine isn’t loving, intuitive, soft, receptive and kind. She is all those traits described above! And she is also a lot more. She is –
Defining Feminine Energy
The true feminine is impossible to describe in one word or sentence because she is an entire cycle of birth and creation to death and destruction. Feminine energy encompasses light and dark, love and fear, beauty and ugliness. She is youth and age. She is receptivity and she is force.
So real feminine energy has little to do with “femininity” as our popular culture, media, and advertising would lead you to believe. It’s not fluttering your eyelashes to seduce a man, having perfectly manicured nails, or being the one who cooperates, finding the peaceful route through a disagreement.
Real feminine power and energy could be found in your wildly unkempt hair, unwashed face, and your fierce and heartfelt “no”.
For a much deeper experience of the “deep feminine”, go and listen to the work of Oracular Poet Maya Luna.
How to increase feminine energy
Maybe you’re reaising now, how increasing the feminine energy in your life is more than just wearing the right clothes and cultivating receptivity?!
If you’re serious about this work, then know it’s a deeply personal process and not a walk in the park! Being someone who can radiate feminine energy will require you to strip back layers of conditioning and age-old beliefs about femininity. You’ll have to look deeply at your inner world, and probably face some confronting facts. But the rewards are worth it… not only personally, but for the collective too.
Know that when you do this work of reclaiming the feminine, you’re doing the work for generations of women who couldn’t. And also for women around the world who can’t.
So let’s begin…
1. Dive into deep self-reflection
Most of us have been conditioned to look outside of ourselves for answers.
If you want to heal, mend, or find wholeness, you go find a doctor, therapist, professional, or expert in that field, right?
But in truth, we have ALL the answers we need inside, we simply need to allow ourselves the time and space to seek them out.
That’s not to say that it isn’t necessary to get professional support and lean on other people from time to time. But here, at the very start of your journey to cultivate feminine energy, turn into yourself.
2. Look at your own conditioning around femininity
Write down a list of what you think femininity is. Then ask yourself if each thing is true. If it is, why? Who told you so? Where did that belief come from?
As women, we’ve spent our entire lives receiving messages about how to be feminine, feel feminine, and look feminine. But for many of us, these messages actually go against our innate qualities and characteristics!
So in order to fit in and not get cast out by society, we learned to reject these parts of ourselves. Yet by rejecting these “unfeminine” traits and qualities in ourselves, and adopting what society, our families, our friends, and our cultures have told us is feminine, we have fragmented ourselves. And built a really distorted view of ourselves and the world.
So there is a LOT of work to do here.
It’s really important to look at your beliefs around femininity, the feminine, and what it is to authentically feel feminine before blindly trying to tap into “feminine energy”. Because the feminine way of being that you’re seeking out could actually be at odds with the real you, and the real feminine within you.
Ready to start deprogramming?
Read this post next – 50 BEST Journal Prompts for Healing Feminine Energy
It is deep, deep work to strip back to the inner feminine, so go slowly. A good place to start is likely by looking at your own shadow…
3. Do your shadow work
It doesn’t matter how much “love and light” you’re seeking. Unless you’re spending time looking into your shadow, you’re not going to cultivate deep, true feminine energy.
Everyone has a shadow side – this is the unconscious mind – the place where we put all the parts of ourselves we’ve rejected.
For women, shadow traits may look like:
- Being angry
- Being assertive
- Being disorganized
- Having “negative” emotions
- Having needs
Integrating your shadow is a powerful healing journey that is absolutely unavoidable if you want to cultivate feminine energy,
If you want to dive into your own shadow, start here: The Honeyed Shadow.
4. Connect to nature
Nature IS the home of divine feminine energy, in all her wild and authentic expressions.
Spend time with her, in her, soaking up her medicine. Don’t wait until you feel burned out before turning to the great mother.
Nature will soothe and heal your nervous system. Nature will help regulate you through your internal process and BIG deconditioning work. AND she will teach you all about the true feminine.
About her rhythms, seasons, cycles, beauty, love and power.
5. Be more creative
Creativity isn’t what you do, it’s a frequency you hold.
The feminine side of nature IS creative.
You can create more feminine energy by aligning with your own creativity. By making art, crafting, cooking, weaving, dancing… whatever makes your creative side sing. When you cultivate your own creative energy, you are aligning yourself with the Mother, the life-giving force of the Universe. This will naturally increase your own feminine energies.
6. Increase your capacity to BE with your emotions
Many women are naturally deep feelers.
But, can you hold and fully feel your emotions, without either suppressing them when they’re uncomfortable or letting them suddenly explode when too much?
Learn to connect with your emotions authentically. Increase your capacity to BE with what you’re feeling, so you can listen, learn, and process them.
Explore your emotional world through journaling…
Read this post next – Best Shadow Work Prompts for Beginners
7. Practice embodiment and sensuality
If you want to increase feminine energy, you need somewhere for that energy to belong! And the feminine doesn’t belong in the mind.
She is embodied – she lives in your blood, flesh, and bones. She comes alive when you move, dance, and feel.
But most humans (both men and women) have been systematically disconnected from their bodies over centuries of living under patriarchal control. Re-awaken feminine energy in your life by inhabiting your own body more fully.
- Take a long walk barefoot
- Tune into your five senses
- Join a yoga class
- Savour delicious food
- Inhale the scent of a rose
- Touch your own body and get to know (and appreciate) her contours, textures, and shapes.
Closely connected to embodiment, sensuality is the pleasure that can be found in sensation.
Most of us have a deep desire for more sensuality, yet don’t quite know that’s what our inner yearning is.
Embracing sensuality by coming into contact with what we are feeling, sensing, and enjoying physically will increase the feminine flow of energy through your life.
8. Appreciate your body
Patriarchy wants you to dislike your body. This keeps you spending money on trying to improve, change, or manipulate it. But just like patriarchal femininity, the messages you receive about what a feminine body looks like are lies.
Your body is beautiful. She is divine. Cherish and love her.
9. Embrace your menstrual cycle
How do you feel about your menstrual cycle? Love it, or loathe it? (Again, your perception is likely closely tied to the conditioning you’ve received, so no judgment here).
As a woman who menstruates, every month your entire body moves through a sacred cycle of creation, growth, climax, descent, and death. Your thoughts, emotions, sensations, and body all mirror this incredible feminine blueprint.
So instead of stifling your feelings, numbing your pain, and dreading your blood, begin to awaken to the creative force you carry within.
10. Slow down and rest
Divine feminine energy cannot be rushed, yet most of us think we should be doing more, faster (am I right?!)
Slowing down is reclamation.
Resting is rebellion.
One of the best ways to cultivate feminine energy in your life is to slow down the pace, stop pushing forward, and BE in the moment.
Like pleasure, play is healing, yet SO underrated.
Try to find time to be free, uninhibited, light-hearted, and spontaneous. Let go of structure, self-awareness, and the need to be productive.
Play will enable a balance to be found, so that “masculine” impulses are kept in check. This will allow the spontaneous joys of the feminine to emerge in unexpected, unplanned ways!
12. Work with the Dark Feminine
Cultivating only the lighter, softer traits of the feminine, and rejecting any “darker” ones is NOT only doing half the work. It’s actually creating more imbalance.
Working with the dark feminine is a necessary aspect of this path. As daunting as it may be, especially if you have preconceptions around darkness and shadow, we need to embrace all aspects of the Goddess on this journey.
Do you want to work with dark feminine energy?
Read this post next – Dark Feminine Energy Explained
13. Explore your sexuality
You can’t increase the feminine energy in your life without a deep exploration of your sexuality.
For the majority of women, this either feels expansive and exciting, or constricting and fear-inducing Because the fact is that growing up in the 21st century, we all have trauma around our sexuality.
The truth around what sex and sexual energy actually are has been radically distorted over many centuries. The messages we’ve received as women are so far from the creative, erotic, sensual impulse that sex is really all about.
So if you want to awaken feminine energy, it’s VITAL to explore your own sexuality. But doing this means peeling back the layers of conditioning that you’ve been fed since childhood.
14. Cultivate your intuition
The feminine communicates to us through our intuition.
Intuition is that inner voice that more and more women are noticing, yet still unsure whether to trust.
Listening to your intuitive hunches will awaken even more of this powerful feminine force. Acting on your intuition will show the feminine that it’s safe to move through your life.
15. Cultivate healthy female relationships
Many women have a desperate need for healthy relationships with other like-minded women.
Yet instead of seeing other women as friends and allies, we do the polar opposite, because we’ve been conditioned to judge, criticise, gossip about and compete with them.
Work hard to embrace the females in your life! Love them, cherish them, celebrate their wins, and dedicate spare time to building healthy, generous relationships with them.
How do you know if you have strong feminine energy?
Strong feminine energy is healed feminine energy.
Do the work.
If you really want to cultivate feminine energy, and feel feminine in your life, then it needs to be authentic.
So do the deep, soul-searching work, and the Goddess will shine and radiate out from your heart with no effort at all.