Wounded feminine energy refers to emotional and psychological scars many women carry, caused by the distortion of pure, raw, untamed feminine energy.
This distortion has been created by centuries of cultural and societal expectations of femininity, and what it is to be “feminine”. Personal trauma may also contribute and this too, tends to be rooted in cultural conditioning.
There are many, many manifestations of the wounded feminine on both individual and collective levels.
For example, personally, women may experience low self-worth, disembodiment, or feelings of shame around sexuality. The wounded feminine also weaves its thread through the fabric of our society too – like how women are systemically suppressed and how sexism is simply part of every women’s experience.
It’s important to recognize that although wounded feminine energy shows up mainly in the lives of women, it can impact individuals of any gender.
Understanding Wounded Feminine Energy
Before we dive into the wounded feminine, we need clarity around what a healthy expression of feminine energy is. There seems to be quite a bit of confusion around this right now, especially in polarity teachings. It’s often taught that masculine and feminine energy are polarising forces. But I don’t think it’s quite as straightforward as that…
What is feminine energy?
Most people describe the feminine with words like soft, nurturing, kindness, and receptivity. And yes, the feminine can be those things. But she is also a lot more.
The true feminine isn’t only the loving, agreeable “light” side. She is also the murky, dark, and messy. She is –
- Decay and death
Curious? You can read more here: What is Feminine Energy? Plus 20 Ways to Step into your Feminine Power
What is Wounded Feminine Energy?
Wounded feminine energy is a state where innate feminine qualities are suppressed or distorted. This is due to past traumas, conditioning, and the patriarchal programming that we all swim in, in our everyday lives.
Signs of Wounded Feminine Energy
The biggest tell tale sign that you’re experiencing wounded feminine energy is simply an inner knowing that something isn’t right. Normally, before women do any of the deep dives and start to strip back the layers of conditioning that we’ve all picked up, it’s this spiritual knowing that all is not okay.
But there are many many signs to look out for. Here are a few –
- Lack of meaning and purpose in life
- Unable to set boundaries and say no /always people pleasing
- Seeking external validation and approval
- Having a hard time connecting with, and expressing emotions
- Often dissociate from your body
- Inability to experience sensory pleasure
- Fear and/ or shame around sexuality
- Reject any notion of “femininity”
- Unable to trust your intuition or make decisions from a place of inner knowing
- Difficult or complex relationships with other women
Curious to read more? Check out – 20 Warning Signs of Wounded Feminine Energy
Recognizing these signs is the first step in healing wounded feminine energy. It is really important to understand that these patterns are not your fault and can be healed with time and effort.
How to Heal Wounded Feminine Energy
- Work with embodiment practices
- Learn to love your menstrual cycle
- Embrace the darkness
- Do your shadow work
- Explore sensuality
- Start trusting your intuition
- Create a spiritual practice
- Be curious about other women
1. Work with embodiment practices
Feminine energy lives in the body! But most humans (both men and women) have been systematically disconnected from their bodies over centuries of living under patriarchal control. The Abrahamic religions have taught us that body and mind are separate, and the mind reigns supreme. That the masculine qualities of logic and rational thinking are SO much more important than the intuition of matter.
It’s not true. Our beautiful, sacred, physical forms hold so much power and wisdom if we could only learn how to listen. Embodiment and somatic experiencing are practices of being.
Spend time tuning into your senses. Look, listen, smell, taste, and touch the world around you, and really savor every sensory experience.
2. Learn to love your menstrual cycle
One of the best ways to heal the wounded feminine is to embrace your menstrual cycle. The body of any menstruating woman goes through an incredible and sacred cycle of growth, climax, descent, and renewal every month.
Your emotions, sensations, creativity, and spirituality all reflect this cycle, and it’s your gateway into connection with the divine feminine. Cultivating a healthy relationship with your cycle is SUPER important because this ebb and flow this is the crux of femininity.
The power of divine feminine energy is the power to transform and regenerate.
3. Embrace the darkness
The healed feminine has many faces. And despite what the New Age movement may lead oyu to believe, she’s not all “love and light”. Feminine power also encompasses darkness.
Mother Earth has as many wild and dark places, as she has bright sunshiney ones. And it’s the same for our inner landscapes too – we have sark inner worlds to explore, and fragments of the feminine will be found there.
Some people confuse the dark feminine with toxic femininity and the female shadow. But they’re not the same thing – you can read all about dark feminine energy HERE.
4. Do your shadow work
The female shadow is closely related to the wounded feminine.
Everyone has a shadow self. This is where we place the aspects of ourselves we’ve had to reject, in order to get approval. It’s a part of the unconscious mind, so it’s hard to access. But this work requires it!
We have all received societal conditioning around what the acceptable traits of femininity are. Everything else? In the shadow.
For women, these traits may look like
- Being disorganized
- Having needs
- … and many, many more personality traits and qualities
When you first start doing shadow work, you’ll likely come across distorted feminine energy. Keep going in the right direction through, and you’ll discover SO much power.
If you want to start a shadow work practice of your own, you can start here: The Honeyed Shadow. This guided 13-day journey is a powerful gateway into your unconscious, so that you can find more balance between the light and darker aspects of yourself.
5. Explore sensuality
Sensuality simply means to engage with your senses, and find the pleasure that’s available for you. Somatic practice is a great way to get in touch with your sensuality, if you are very disconnected from your body.
You can also re-orient your attention in everyday life, seeking out ways to find more pleasure.
It’s important to realize this doesn’t need to be sexual. It could look like pausing for a second longer in the morning to hear the birdsong outside your front door. Or engaging your sense of smell, inhaling the scent of your chocolate before you take a bite.
6. Start trusting your intuitive abilities
Our society tends to favour logic, rational thinking, and approaches to life that employ more typically masculine energy.
But the divine feminine speaks to us quietly. And the more you listen to that whisper of intuitive guidance, the more clearly you’ll be led in the direction of the healing you, personally need.
Trust yourself. You are the divine channel you need.
7. Create a spiritual practice
Connecting to the divine (whatever that means to you) is a real antidote to much of the toxicity in our culture, that has caused such wounding of the feminine.
A spiritual practice will create the container for divine feminine energy to enter your life.
Set up a sacred space in your home, in dedication to the sacred feminine. Hold a forgiveness ritual each the Full Moon (see the next point). Or begin to manifest intentionally, using ceremony and affirmations. Whatever it needs to look like, make sure it feels authentic to you and your world.
This is an exceptionally powerful tool for healing the inner feminine! The wounds that so many women hold can typically manifest in anger, frustration, and bitterness. And it feels right! The oppression of women over centuries IS something to be angry about!
Forgiveness doesn’t make it okay. It isn’t bypassing the wrongs of the past (and present). But it will help to release its grip of pain over YOU. It’s not healthy for your life force energy to be ensnared in old patterns, which is what could be causing some of the toxic emotions you feel.
Practicing forgiveness is a self-liberating tool. Try it.
Rest is so incredibly important for women.
The patriarchal system we all live within tends to see rest as either a sign of laziness, or something you have to earn. So it takes chronic stress, fatigue, and burnout before it’s deemed okay to down tools and take a break!
But rest is our birthright. And rest creates the space for pleasure, which is the body’s fast track to repair and rejuvenation. So rest will not only kick start your healing process, but is an act of rebellion against the systems that are keeping your suppressed!
10. Be curious about other women
If you carry the sisterhood wound (which let’s face it, many of us do) then it may be difficult for you to jump straight into groups of strong women, without being triggered.
It’s okay. It’s really normal, unfortunately, not to trust other women, to judge, criticise, and gossip about them, and/ or see them as your competition. It’s how this wound shows up. So begin by being compassionate with yourself.
Next, simply try being curious.
- Who is this woman who seems to be so confident?
- How does this woman appear to have it all together all the time?
- Why does this woman seem to struggle?
Be a friend. Be interested. Be open and make no assumptions. In time, you’ll have built healthy, generous relationships with like-minded women.
Remember, healing your wounded feminine energy is a process, and it won’t happen overnight. Be patient with yourself and give yourself the time and space you need to heal.
As you gradually start to connect with your own sacred feminine energy, you’ll find yourself feeling more empowered and connected to the world around you.
Restoring feminine energy by cultivating a healthier relationship with yourself
When it comes to healing wounded feminine energy, cultivating a healthier relationship with yourself is crucial. Here are some ways to achieve this:
Self-love is key to healing your wounded feminine energy. It’s about accepting yourself for who you are, flaws and all, and treating yourself with kindness and compassion. This means taking care of your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs, and making time for activities that bring you joy and pleasure. By prioritizing self-love, you’ll raise your vibration and attract more positive energy into your life.
Setting strong boundaries
Setting strong boundaries is another important aspect of cultivating a healthier relationship with yourself and others. It’s about being clear about your needs and limits and communicating them assertively to others. This means saying “no” when you need to, and not allowing others to take advantage of you.
By setting strong boundaries, you’ll create space for yourself to heal and grow. Plus, you’ll start attracting people who respect and honor your boundaries.
Spending time in mother nature
Spending time in nature is a powerful way to connect with your intuition and the divine feminine energies of the earth.
It’s all about slowing down, tuning out the noise of the world and receiving the medicine of the Mother.
This means taking walks in the park, going on hikes, or simply sitting outside and feeling the sun on your skin. By spending time in nature, you’ll tap into your own sense of balance and harmony, and feel more connected to the world around you.
Balancing masculine and feminine energies
The masculine and feminine energies within each person are not gender-specific. it’s good to think in terms of qualities that both men and women possess.
Masculine energy tends to be more goal-oriented, logical, and directional. We’ve already talked about feminine energy, and how it’s SO much more than most people think! You can read this post about feminine energy for a recap.
So balancing these two energies will serve you to be more well-rounded, adaptable, and emotionally stable.
This means that as well as healing the wounded feminine, it’s also good to realize when you have an imbalance of masculine and feminine energies.
Some symptoms may be similar!
Yet when the inner masculine is dominating, it’s more common to experience emotional and physical problems such as anxiety, depression, and burnout. You may feel disconnected from your authentic self, have trouble expressing your needs and desires, and struggle to form healthy relationships.
Identifying and healing wounded masculine energy
Wounded masculine energy may be characterized by manipulation, aggression, bullying, and throwing tantrums. It usually manifests as forceful, directional distress.
Here are some ways to identify and heal wounded masculine energy:
- Practice self-reflection to identify patterns of behavior that are not serving you.
- Seek therapy or counseling to work through past traumas and emotional wounds.
- Practice mindfulness and meditation to become more aware of your thoughts and emotions.
- Create a spiritual practice to connect to the divine masculine
- Set healthy boundaries with others and learn to say no.
- Practice self-care and self-compassion to build a stronger sense of self-worth.
By also working to balance your inner masculine and feminine energies, you may also help to create space for the feminine to heal.
Remember, this is THE work, and it’s a journey.
It will take time and effort to achieve balance, wholeness, and healing for you and the Earth. Be patient and kind to yourself as you work towards healing and growth.
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